Prevention Starts With Parents

• not using drugs yourself
• providing guidance and clear rules about not using drugs
• spending time with your child sharing the good and the bad times

All of these are necessary to help your child grow up free from the problems of drug use.

Ask Yourself a Few Questions

• Do you usually offer alcoholic drinks to friends and family when they come to your home?
• Do you frequently take medicine for minor aches and pains or if you are feeling sad or nervous?
• Do you take sleeping pills to fall asleep?
• Do you use alcohol or any other drug in a way that you would not want your child to?
• Do you smoke cigarettes?
• Are you proud about how much you can drink?
• Do you make jokes about getting drunk or using drugs?
• Do you go to parties that involve a lot of drinking?
• Do you drink and drive or ride with drivers who have been drinking?
• Has your child ever seen you drunk?
• Do you let minors drink alcohol in your home?

First a Child Needs Roots to Grow...Then Wings to Fly As a parent you can do a lot to prevent your child from using drugs. Use the following tips to help guide your child's thoughts and behaviors about drugs: 1. Talk with your child honestly. Don't wait to have "the drug talk" with your child. Make discussions about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs part of your daily conversation. Know the facts about how drugs can harm your child. Clear up any wrong information, such as "everybody drinks" or "marijuana won't hurt you." Be clear about family rules for use of tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. 2. Really listen to your child. Encourage your child to share questions and concerns about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Do not do all the talking or give long lectures. 3. Help your child develop self-confidence. Look for all the good things in your child -- and then tell your child how proud you are. If you need to correct your child, criticize the action, not your child. Praise your child's efforts as well as successes. 4. Help your child develop strong values. Talk about your family values. Teach your child how to make decisions based on these standards of right and wrong. Explain that these are the standards for your family, no matter what other families might decide. 5. Be a good example. Look at your own habits and thoughts about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Your actions speak louder than words. 6. Help your child deal with peer pressure and acceptance. Discuss the importance of being an individual and the meaning of real friendships. Help your child to understand that he does not have to do something wrong just to feel accepted. Remind your child that a real friend won't care if he does not use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. 7. Make family rules that help your child say "no." Talk with your child about your expectation that he will say "no" to drugs. Spell out what will happen if he breaks these rules. (For example, "My parents said I can't use the car if I drink.") Be prepared to follow through, if necessary. 8. Encourage healthy, creative activities. Look for ways to get your child involved in athletics, hobbies, school clubs, and other activities that reduce boredom and excess free time. Encourage positive friendships and interests. Look for activities that you and your child can do together. 9. Team up with other parents. Work with other parents to build a drug-free environment for children. When parents join together against drug use, they are much more effective than when they act alone. One way is to form a parent group with the parents of your child's friends. The best way to stop a child from using drugs is to stop his friends from using them too. 10. Know what to do if your child has a drug problem. Realize that no child is immune to drugs. Learn the signs of drug use. Take seriously any concerns you hear from friends, teachers, or other kids about your child's possible drug use. Trust your instincts. If you truly feel that something is wrong with your child, it probably is. If there's a problem, seek professional help.

Teach Your Child To Say No

• Ask questions ("What is it?" "Where did you get it?")
• Say no firmly.
• Give reasons ("No thanks, I'm not into that.")
• Suggest other things to do (go to a movie, the mall, or play a game)
• Leave (go home, go to class, join other friends)

Parents can also help their children choose not to use tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs in these ways:

• Build your child's self-esteem with praise and support for decisions. A strong sense of self-worth will help your child to say no to tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs and mean it.
• Gradually allow your child to make more decisions alone. Making a few mistakes is a normal part of growing up, so try not to be too critical when your child makes a mistake.
• Listen to what your child says. Pay attention, and be helpful during periods of loneliness or doubt.
• Offer advice about handling strong emotions and feelings. Help your child cope with emotions by letting her know that feelings will change. Explain that mood swings are not really bad, and they won't last forever. Model how to control mental pain or tension without the use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
• Plan to discuss a wide variety of topics with your child including alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs and the need for peer-group acceptance. Young people who don't know the facts about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are at greater risk of trying them.
• Encourage fun and worthwhile outside things to do; avoid turning too much of your child's leisure time into chores.
• Be a good role model by avoiding tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs yourself. You're the best role model for your child. Make a stand against drug issues - your child will listen.

Your pediatrician understands that good communication between parents and children is one of the best ways to prevent drug use. If talking to your child becomes a problem, your pediatrician may provide the key to opening the lines of communication.

Parents Guide to Teenage Parties

• Plan in advance. Go over party plans with your teen. Encourage your teen to plan some organized group activities or games.
• Keep parties small. 10 to 15 teens for each adult. Make sure at least one adult is present at all times. Ask other parents to come over to help you if you need it.
• Set a guest list. The party should be for invited guests only. No "crashers" allowed. This will help avoid the "open party" situation.
• Set a time limit. Set starting and ending times for the party. Check local curfew laws to determine an ending time.
• Set party "rules." Discuss them with your teen before the party. Rules should include the following:
  • No tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
  • No one can leave the party and then return.
  • Lights are left on at all times.
  • Certain rooms of the house are off-limits.

• Know your responsibilities. Remember, you are legally responsible for anything that happens to a minor who has been served alcohol or other drugs in your home. Help your child feel responsible for this as well. Guests who bring tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs to the party should be asked to leave. Be ready to call the parents of anyone who comes to the party intoxicated to make sure they get safely home.
• Be there, but not square. Pick out a spot where you can see what is going on without being in the way. You can also help serve snacks and beverages.

If Your Teen Is Going to a Party:

• Call the host's parent to verify the party and offer any help. Make sure a parent will be at the party and that tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs will not be allowed.
• Know where your child is going. Have the phone number and address of the party. Ask your teen to call you if the location of the party changes. Be sure to let your child know where you will be during the party.
• Make sure your teen has a way to get home from the party. Make it easy for your child to leave a party by making it clear that he can call at any time for a ride home. Discuss why he might need to make such a call. Remind your teen NEVER to ride home with a driver who has been drinking.
• Be up to greet your child when he comes home. This can be a good way to check the time and talk about the evening.

Maybe your teen has been to parties where there were tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs. Maybe he tried them. Maybe after using them your teen did something stupid, something he wouldn't normally do.

It's hard for people to stay safe when they aren't thinking clearly. How can teens keep a clear head and still have fun? Give them the following suggestions for staying safe while having a good time:

• Hang out with people who don't smoke, drink, or use other drugs.
• Plan not to smoke, drink, or use other drugs. Do whatever it takes to help you remember.
• Use the "buddy system" -- team up with a friend. Use a code word to remind each other when it's time to leave a party.
• If your teen likes to meet new people, suggest trying some of the following activities instead of parties:
  • free concerts
  • dances
  • espresso bars
  • museums
  • extra-curricular "anythings"
  • community centers
  • libraries
  • sports events
  • religious activities
  • film festivals
  • athletic clubs
  • volunteer work

How Can I Tell If My Child Is Doing Drugs?

• Smell of alcohol, smoke, or other chemicals on your child's breath or clothing
• Obvious intoxication, dizziness, or bizarre behavior
• Change in dress, appearance, and grooming
• Change in choice of friends
• Frequent arguments, sudden mood changes, and unexplained violent actions
• Change in eating and sleeping patterns
• Skipping school
• Failing grades
• Runaway and delinquent behavior
• Suicide attempts

How Parents Can Help

Send loving messages, for example:

• "I love you too much to let you hurt yourself."
• "I know other people your age use drugs, but I can't let you continue to behave this way."
• "We'll do anything we can to help you. If tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs are part of the problem, we must talk about it right away."
• "If you are sad, upset, or mad, we want to help you. But our family will not permit any use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs."

Don't be critical (avoid these statements):