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 Bullying
How
can we help our child avoid being bullied?
Whether
on the school playground or in the neighborhood park, children in
the middle years sometimes find themselves the target of bullies.
When that happens, these bullies can not only frighten a youngster,
shaking his confidence and spoiling his play, but they can also cause
bodily injury.
Avoiding a bully
is one reason your child may be reluctant to go to school. Perhaps
he is being forced to relinquish his lunch money to this bully. Or
he might be fearful of physical harm. If you suspect a problem like
this, you need to take action to ensure your child's safety and well-being.
Here are some strategies he can adopt with your help, and which will
help make him safer:
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Tell your child not to react to the bully, particularly by giving
in to demands. A bully relishes intimidating others and likes nothing
better than to see his victim cry or become visibly upset in other
ways. Getting that response reinforces the bullying behavior. Your
child should try to keep his composure and simply walk away.
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If
your child's attempts at disregarding a bully's taunts aren't effective,
he should become assertive with his harasser. While standing tall
and looking his tormentor in the eyes, he should clearly and loudly
make a statement like, "Stop doing that now. If you keep on,
I'm going to report you to the principal." Or, "I'll talk
to you, but I'm not going to fight. So put your fists down now."
Sometimes, a strong statement will defuse the situation, and the
bully will try to find another, weaker target. Drawing the attention
of peers to the bullying situation can embarrass the bully. If your
child isn't used to reacting assertively, help him rehearse what
he will say if he is confronted.
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Encourage
your child to form strong friendships. A youngster who has loyal
friends is less likely to be singled out by a bully, or at least
he'll have some allies if he does become a target of harassment.
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Talk
to your son's teacher or to the principal of his school if the situation
with the bully persists. You might be reluctant to intervene, perhaps
because your child is embarrassed to have you do so, or because
you believe he needs to learn to deal with these situations on his
own. On the other hand, you don't want your child's self-confidence
to weaken, or his physical well-being to be jeopardized. Your youngster
deserves to attend school in a safe environment, even if it means
both you and the school staff need to become involved.
Let the principal
or teacher talk to the bully when he or she sees the inappropriate
behavior taking place on the school grounds. This is generally a more
effective approach than having you speak with the child or his parents.
Published online:
10/07
Source:
Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5 to 12 (Copyright ©
2003 American Academy of Pediatrics)
To order a copy of this book visit the AAP
Bookstore.
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The information
contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for
the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations
in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual
facts and circumstances.
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