Sexual Abuse

How would I know if my child is being sexually abused?

Most of the time, sexual abuse is first discovered when a child tells someone what happened. Many parents expect their son or daughter to tell them or another trusted adult soon after the abuse has started, but most children wait weeks or months to tell. Abusers may threaten or convince the child not to tell anyone about it. The child may worry about what will happen and whether anyone will believe her. The child may feel that the abuse is her fault and that she will be punished if someone finds out.

A child's first statements about abuse may be vague and incomplete until they know how others will respond. Abused children may tell a friend first before telling an adult. Children may tell after a personal safety program at their school. Sometimes children tell simply because a trusted adult asks them.

Sexually abused children can have a number of behavioral and physical symptoms. Some sexually abused children have no symptoms at all. The behaviors and symptoms listed below are sometimes warning signs of sexual abuse, but can be caused by other factors or situations.

It is important to talk with your child if you notice the following behaviors:

Physical signs of abuse may include the following:

Parents should talk with their children in a quiet, private place. First they can share their concern. For example, "Sometimes children have bad dreams because they have been hurt or touched in ways that make them sad, scared, or confused." Then the parent can ask a general question. For example, "Has anything happened to you that made you sad, scared, or confused?" Parents should not ask too many questions; some abused children may decide to talk about their abuse at a later time.

The adult should show concern and support for the child, even if the child does not say they have been abused. In this way, children learn that talking with an adult about problems is a positive experience.