• not using drugs yourself
• providing guidance and clear rules about not using drugs
• spending time with your child sharing the good and the bad times

• Do you usually offer alcoholic drinks to friends and family when they come to your home?
• Do you frequently take medicine for minor aches and pains or if you are feeling sad or nervous?
• Do you take sleeping pills to fall asleep?
• Do you use alcohol or any other drug in a way that you would not want your child to?
• Do you smoke cigarettes?
• Are you proud about how much you can drink?
• Do you make jokes about getting drunk or using drugs?
• Do you go to parties that involve a lot of drinking?
• Do you drink and drive or ride with drivers who have been drinking?
• Has your child ever seen you drunk?
• Do you let minors drink alcohol in your home?

• Ask questions ("What is it?""Where did you get it?")
• Say no firmly.
• Give reasons ("No thanks, I'm not into that.")
• Suggest other things to do (go to a movie, the mall, or play a game)
• Leave (go home, go to class, join other friends)

• Build your child's self-esteem with praise and support for decisions. A strong sense of self-worth will help your child to say no to tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs and mean it.
• Gradually allow your child to make more decisions alone. Making a few mistakes is a normal part of growing up, so try not to be too critical when your child makes a mistake.
• Listen to what your child says. Pay attention, and be helpful during periods of loneliness or doubt.
• Offer advice about handling strong emotions and feelings. Help your child cope with emotions by letting her know that feelings will change. Explain that mood swings are not really bad, and they won't last forever. Model how to control mental pain or tension without the use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
• Plan to discuss a wide variety of topics with your child including alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs and the need for peer-group acceptance. Young people who don't know the facts about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs are at greater risk of trying them.
• Encourage fun and worthwhile outside things to do; avoid turning too much of your child's leisure time into chores.
• Be a good role model by avoiding tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs yourself. You're the best role model for your child. Make a stand against drug issues—your child will listen.

• Plan in advance. Go over party plans with your teen. Encourage your teen to plan some organized group activities or games.
• Keep parties small. 10 to 15 teens for each adult. Make sure at least one adult is present at all times. Ask other parents to come over to help you if you need it.
• Set a guest list. The party should be for invited guests only. No "crashers" allowed. This will help avoid the "open party" situation.
• Set a time limit. Set starting and ending times for the party. Check local curfew laws to determine an ending time.
• Set party "rules." Discuss them with your teen before the party. Rules should include the following:
• No tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.
• No one can leave the party and then return.
• Lights are left on at all times.
• Certain rooms of the house are off-limits.
• Know your responsibilities. Remember, you are legally responsible for anything that happens to a minor who has been served alcohol or other drugs in your home. Help your child feel responsible for this as well. Guests who bring tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs to the party should be asked to leave. Be ready to call the parents of anyone who comes to the party intoxicated to make sure they get safely home.
• Be there, but not square. Pick out a spot where you can see what is going on without being in the way. You can also help serve snacks and beverages.

• Call the host's parent to verify the party and offer any help. Make sure a parent will be at the party and that tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs will not be allowed.
• Know where your child is going. Have the phone number and address of the party. Ask your teen to call you if the location of the party changes. Be sure to let your child know where you will be during the party.
• Make sure your teen has a way to get home from the party. Make it easy for your child to leave a party by making it clear that he can call at any time for a ride home. Discuss why he might need to make such a call. Remind your teen NEVER to ride home with a driver who has been drinking.
• Be up to greet your child when he comes home. This can be a good way to check the time and talk about the evening.

• Hang out with people who don't smoke, drink, or use other drugs.
• Plan not to smoke, drink, or use other drugs. Do whatever it takes to help you remember.
• Use the "buddy system"—team up with a friend. Use a code word to remind each other when it's time to leave a party.

• free concerts
• espresso bars
• extra-curricular "anythings"
• libraries
• religious activities
• athletic clubs
• dances
• museums
• community centers
• sports events
• film festivals
• volunteer work

Remember

Your pediatrician cares very much about your family, and wants to help if there are problems in any area?especially if you have concerns about substance abuse.

Published online: 3/07
Source: Substance Abuse Prevention: What Every Parent Needs To Know (Copyright © 1999 American Academy of Pediatrics)

Healthcare professionals may order this publication in multi-copy packs.
Parents can find more information on this topic in Caring for Your Teenager. To order a copy of this book visit the AAP Bookstore.

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The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.