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Sex - Deciding to Wait

How do I know if I'm ready to have sex?

Being physically attracted to another person and trying to figure out how to deal with these feelings is perfectly normal. Kissing and hugging are often accompanied by really intense sexual feelings. These feelings may tempt you to "go all the way."

Before things go too far, try asking yourself the following questions:

  • Do I really want to have sex?
  • Is this person pressuring me to have sex?
  • Am I ready to have sex?
  • What will happen after I have sex with this person?
Remember, you can show how you feel about someone without having sex (being abstinent) with him or her.

Are you ready?

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • How do you feel when you are with this person?
  • Is this person kind and caring?
  • Does this person respect you and your opinions?
  • Have you talked together about whether to have sex?
  • Have you talked together about condoms and other birth control?
  • Will you stay together even if one of you does not want to have sex?
  • Do you know if your partner has ever had sex with other people?
  • Do you feel pressured to have sex just to please your partner?

If you and your partner find it hard to talk about sex, it might be a sign that you are not ready to have sex. Open and honest communication is important in any relationship, especially one that involves sex.

Know the risks

It's normal for teens to be curious about sex, but deciding to have sex is a big step.

Sex does increase your chances of becoming pregnant, becoming a teen parent, and getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), and it may affect the way you feel about yourself or how others feel about you.

Some things to think about before you have sex are

  • What would your parents say if you had sex?
  • Are you ready to be a parent?
  • Could you handle being told that you have an STD?
  • Do you know where to go for birth control methods?
  • How would you feel if your partner tells you it's over after you have sex?
  • How would you feel if your partner tells people at school the two of you had sex?
  • How would you handle feeling guilty, scared, or sad because you had sex?

No matter what you've heard, read, or seen, not everyone your age is having sex. In fact, more than half of all teens choose to wait until they're older to have sex. People who wait until they are older to have sex usually find out that it's

  • More special
  • More satisfying
  • Less risky to their health
  • Easier to act responsibly and take precautions to avoid infections and pregnancy
  • More accepted by others

 

Published online: 3/07
Source: Deciding to Wait: Guidelines for Teens (Copyright © 2005 American Academy of Pediatrics)

Healthcare professionals may order this publication in multi-copy packs.
Parents can find more information on this topic in Caring for Your Teenager. To order a copy of this book visit the AAP Bookstore.

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The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.



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