A Parent's Personal Story of Triumph

Contributed by Ruth White, mother

Today I was given an unexpected gift that I really want to share. Please bear with me...

Fifteen years ago I took Jeff to a children's program at the Chicago Symphony. Because 2 shows had sold out, one had been added. I happened to call at the right time and got 4 box seats at a super rate. I lined up a friend and her daughter to go and planned to take Jeff.

At that time Jeff wasn't talking and I had heard that music could influence children with autism. So while I worried about his other issues, I pursued the outing. Jeff was dressed perfectly, I put on my mom-appropriate outfit and we arrived a bit early. Horror. There was a back up of people waiting for the next performance while the first performance was finishing. Jeff had sensory overload with groups so we went for a walk around the block. When we returned the group was larger. But while walking I thought about the need for Jeff to encounter situations where he wasn't comfortable. One theory in autism is that the more you expose a child to situations, the more they will learn to adapt. I took a deep breath and went into the group.

Jeff tantrumed - an autistic tantrum. Head arched back, rocking, screaming. A couple of parents were sympathetic and shared supportive comments. But they all had perfectly behaved, perfectly dressed kids. By the time we went inside, Jeff and I were both disheveled. I had mascara running and perspiration dripping. I took a deep breath and went to our seats.

Second Horror - the box seats. Instead of being special, I realized we were now on display and everyone knew I had the problem child. What if Jeff continued to tantrum? He didn't - he did run up and down the hall, he rolled on the floor and he stood by the edge of the box with a huge smile. He was now enjoying himself. Then Kim showed up with her perfectly dressed and behaved daughter and took their seats. She was supportive and, at one point when Jeff was rolling on the ground, looked at me and said compassionately, "Ruth, I'm so sorry".

The show started - it was a combination of music and some dancing. Jeff loved it. I was having a hard time holding it together. I prayed with all my heart for strength to make it through. I asked God how I was going to help this child? What is his future? Will he always be on the floor rolling and smiling? I looked and saw all the perfect kids and tried not to compare. Jeff gave me a wonderful smile and I knew that no matter what, I cherished him. A pause came between songs. It was towards the end of the performance. Jeff was at the edge of the box and yelled out, "Sing a Song!" There was murmur of delight from the musicians and audience. A few people clapped. To me it was a sign of hope. Jeff said three words together, God had heard me. I felt strength in my soul again.

Tonight I am again going to Symphony Center. Tonight I am going to hear my son play at Symphony Center with the Schaumburg Youth Symphony. Tonight, without prior intent, I realized I am sitting in the same box seats where I prayed for help 15 years ago. Life has given me a gift today.