2 Month - 5 Early Relational Health Developmental Milestone Timeline

Current Developmental Milestones

• Calms down when spoken to or picked up
• Looks at parent’s face
• Seems happy to see parent when approached
• Smiles when talked to or smiled at

What to Know

The relationship between infants and their parents lays the foundation for health, learning, and social wellbeing.

Resource: National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. Children’s Emotional Development Is Built into the Architecture of Their Brains.

What to Ask

What makes your baby smile?

What to Say

Playing, talking, or simply cuddling your baby is a great way to connect but it also supports their learning and development.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Smiles to get caregiver's attention
• Chuckles (not yet a full laugh) when parent tries to make them laugh
• Looks at parent, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep parent’s attention

What to Know

Attachment is the first way that babies learn to organize their feelings and their actions, by looking to the person who provides them with care and comfort. Attachment is essential to long-term emotional health. Healthy attachment is how children learn to trust and develop healthy relationships later in life.

Resource: Center on the Developing Child. Harvard University. 2014. FIND: Using Science to Coach Caregivers.

What to Ask

How does your baby communicate with you? How do they tell you when they are tired or just want to be held?

What to Say

Your relationship with your baby is the foundation of how they will explore the world and know you are always a safe place to return to.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Knows familiar people
• Likes to look at own reflection in the mirror
• Laughs

What to Know

Young children interact through babbling, facial expressions, and gestures. Adults respond with the same kind of vocalizing and gesturing. This back-and-forth is called serve and return and is fundamental to building the brain

What to Ask

How do you talk to your baby?

What to Say

Play is how babies learn. While your baby is young, you can still play in everyday moments. Talk to your baby while changing their diaper, sing a song while feeding them, or simply make silly faces.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Is shy, clingy, or fearful around strangers
• Shows several facial expressions, like happy, sad, angry, and surprised
• Looks at caregiver when name is called
• Reacts when caregiver leaves (looks, reaches for parent, or cries)
• Smiles or laughs when caregiver plays peek-a-boo with them

What to Know

Routines support relational health by building self-confidence and trust, self-regulation, communication, and patterns for social skills. As children learn what each routine entails, they slowly become more independent. If routines are predictable, have appropriate transition cues, and have room for flexibility, routines will also help reduce challenging behaviors.

What to Ask

Can you share some routines you build for your baby?

What to Say

Building consistent routines provide comfort and a sense of safety to your baby. They understand when it is time to play, eat, sleep and expect a loved one to return. You can help your baby build this sense of trust and safety with everyday things such as bedtime routines, mealtimes, how you like to get dressed in the morning, and offering regular times for play.

Current  Developmental Milestones

Plays games with parent, like pat-a-cake.

What to Know

Research demonstrates that developmentally appropriate play with parents and peers is a singular opportunity to promote the social-emotional, cognitive, language, and self-regulation skills that build executive function and a prosocial brain. Furthermore, play supports the formation of safe, stable and nurturing relationships with all caregivers that children need to thrive.

Resources:

• Zero To Three. From Feelings to Friendships. 2015.
• The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children.

What to Ask

How do you play with your child?

What to Say

Playing together is an important way to support your child's growth and learning. Play allows them to explore their environment, feelings, and experiences. They are also learning that they are loved and important and that you enjoy being around them.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Copies other children while playing, like taking toys out of a container when another child does
• Shows parent an object they like
• Claps when excited
• Hugs stuffed doll or other toy
• Shows parent affection (hugs, cuddles, or kisses parent)

What to Know

Reading regularly with young children stimulates optimal patterns of
brain development and strengthens parent-child relationships at a critical
time in child development, which, in turn, builds language, literacy, and
social-emotional skills that last a lifetime.

What to Ask

How often do you read with your child?

What to Say

Reading together is a great way to spend time with your child and encourage them to learn. It is never too early to start reading to your child. Try to point out colors, shapes, or characters to engage your child in the story, even if you make up a new one.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Moves away from caregiver, but looks to make sure caregiver is close by
• Points to show caregiver something interesting
• Puts hands out for caregiver to wash them
• Looks at a few pages in a book with parent
• Asists when caregiver is dressing them by pushing arm through sleeve or lifting up foot

What to Know

Research shows internal motivation (aka curiosity) not external strategies, is what motivates young children to seek out new experiences and leads to greater success in school over the long term. Young children are born with innate curiosity. Healthy relationships early in life support a young child's curiosity by building safe environments for them to explore and learn.

Children use all of their senses to take in all this new information and use their developing skills to make sense of what they are seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and touching. Secure relationships build the trust that children need to exercise their curiosity.

Resource: Illinois Early Learning Project. Approaches to Curiosity and Initiative. Illinois Early Learning Guides. 2012.

What to Ask

What interests your child? What do they like to explore?

How do you encourage curiosity with your child?

What to Say

Your child is learning so much very quickly. You can nurture their curiosity by exploring their interests together. Talk about what you are doing, answers their questions as honestly as possible, and ask them open-ended questions to understand how they see the world.

Each approach to nurturing and encouraging curiosity varies. You can nurture their natural interests and emotions by asking open-ended questions and wondering out loud. The most important takeaway is that children’s interests should be acknowledged and encouraged to support healthy social emotional development and future learning.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Notices when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone is crying
• Looks at parent’s face to see how to react in a new situation.

What to Know

Early emotional experiences between babies and their caregivers are crucial to the development of empathy. As caregivers nurture and care for infants, babies make crucial associations between positive human interactions, reward systems, and feelings of calm and safety. Children who feel safe, secure, and loved are eventually more sensitive to others' emotional needs.

Resources: 

• Healthy Children. Emotional Development: 2 year olds.
• Zero To Three. 12-24 Months: Social-Emotional Development.

What to Ask

How often does your child play with other children? How do these playtimes go?

What to Say

You can nurture your child's emotional health and help them build relationships with other children. Feeling accepted and understood by you helps your child learn how to accept and understand others as he grows. Give your child your full attention while you listen to them express their emotions. Repeat back what you hear, telling your child you understand what they’re experiencing. Expressing emotions is an opportunity to connect with your child and coach them through a challenging feeling.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Plays with and next to other children
• Shows caregiver what they can do by saying, “Look at me!”
• Follows simple routines when told, like helping to pick up toys when caregiver says, “It’s clean-up time.”

What to Know

Executive function (EF) refers to a set of cognitive skills that control working memory, self-regulation, reasoning, and problem-solving. Adults can facilitate the development of a child’s executive function skills by establishing routines, modeling social behavior, and creating and maintaining supportive, reliable relationships.

What to Ask

How often does your child play with other children? How do these playtimes go?

What to Say

Play is an important way for your child to learn how to build relationships. Does he/she attend child care or preschool? Or are you able to organize regular playdates? Learning to build friendships and play well together is an important part of getting them ready for kindergarten. I can share some names of local programs with flexible options if you are interested.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Calms down within 10 minutes after parent leaves, like at a childcare drop off
• Notices other children and joins them to play

What to Know

Self-regulation is the process that your child’s brain goes through that gives them the ability to control their behaviors and emotions in response to a particular situation. It’s having the skill to calm yourself down when you get upset, adjust to a change in environment or expectations, and handle frustration without outbursts. When children share, listen to others, or wait their turn, they are practicing self-control.

Resource: OPRE, Duke Center for Child and Family Policy, and The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Promoting Self-Regulation in the First Five Years: A Practice Brief. 2017.

What to Ask

What strategies do you use to help your child calm themselves?

What to Say

Your toddler will need help to build skills to calm themselves and regulate their emotions. You can:

1. Notice and identify the emotion.
2. Name and connect the emotion.
3. Pause and say nothing.
4. Support your child while they calm down.
5. Address the issue.

Current Developmental Milestones

• Pretends to be something else during play (teacher, superhero, dog)
• Asks to go play with children if none are around, like “Can I play with Alex?”
• Comforts others who are hurt or sad, like hugging a crying friend
• Avoids danger, like not jumping from tall heights at the playground
• Likes to be a “helper”
• Changes behavior based on where they are (place of worship, library, playground)

What to Know

Emotional literacy is the ability to identify, understand, and respond to emotions in oneself and others in a healthy manner. Children who have a strong foundation in emotional literacy tolerate frustration better, get into fewer fights, and engage in less self-destructive behavior than children who do not have a strong foundation. These children are also healthier, less lonely, less impulsive, more focused, and they have greater academic achievement.

What to Ask

How is your child managing their emotions? Are they able to understand what they are feeling?

What to Say

Helping them label his feelings can build their skill in controlling outbursts or other challenging behavior. Model how to name your feelings (this really frustrates me) and express them in a healthy way. It can also help to give them the words for how they are feeling in difficult situations (I can tell this makes you sad).

Current Developmental Milestones

• Follows rules or takes turns when playing games with other children
• Sings, dances, or acts for parent
• Does simple chores at home, like matching socks or clearing the table after eating

What to Know

When children feel confident and secure, they're more likely to succeed in school and achieve personal goals. Having a positive self-image helps a child feel happy and capable of maintaining personal relationships. Self-esteem impacts decision-making, the ability to forge relationships, and emotional health and well-being.

Chores help children learn about healthy expectations and how they can independently care for themselves. Being involved in chores allows children to experience relational health through skills such as communicating needs, negotiating, cooperating and working as a team. This provides a sense of accomplishment and can boost a child’s self-esteem.

Resource: Raising Children. Household Chores for Children. 2020.

What to Ask

What are you most proud of since our last visit?

What are ways you support your child's self-esteem to grow?

What to Say

You can help your child build and keep self-esteem:

• Listen to and acknowledge your child’s thoughts and feelings.
• Create situations that help your child experience success. Set clear and appropriate expectations and over reasonable amounts of help.
• Give your child a feeling of reasonable control over their life. Let them make small, everyday decisions for themselves.
• Reinforce that your child is lovable and capable.
• Show your child that you have a positive view of yourself.

You can build your child's independence and self-esteem. As your child grows, things like learning to dress, cook, or ride a bike are chances to build self-esteem and confidence. When teaching your child how to do something, show and help them at first. Then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes.