Risky Online Content

Question: How can I share information with my teen about potential risks they may come across online, such as dangerous rabbit holes or sextortion of teens via social media, without scaring them or coming across as overly protective?  

Answer: Talking to your teen about online risks without coming across as overprotective can be a tightrope to walk. You want to keep them safe, but you also don't want them to tune you out the minute you start talking. Here are a few suggestions for how you can strike that balance:  

• Start with Trust: Begin by establishing a space for trust. Talk about your expectations, values, and beliefs. In what ways do you strive to be trustworthy to your teen and what opportunities will they have to reciprocate trust? Since your teen is still developing critical thinking skills, it’s important to make sure they have the support they need to navigate complex situations.  
• Make it a Conversation, Not a Lecture: Ask them about their online experiences, what they enjoy, and if they've encountered anything odd or uncomfortable. Then pause and really listen! Hold your opinions, nod your head, and repeat what you’re hearing. This opens the door for a two-way conversation.  
• Use Real Examples (Carefully): Sharing news stories or examples of online risks can make the conversation more relatable. Just be sure to choose examples that inform without inducing unnecessary fear, and continue to keep the conversation flowing by asking: “What do you think?” Or, “What have you heard about this new online scam?”  
• Focus on the "Why": Explain why certain online behaviors are risky. For instance, rather than just saying "don't share personal info online," explain how it can be used against them, in terms understandable for a teen.  
• Empower Them: Discuss steps they can take if they encounter something sketchy online. Knowing how to report inappropriate content, block users, and protect their privacy gives them tools to manage risks themselves.  
• Highlight the Positive: Make sure to also talk about the positive aspects of the internet and social media and the positive ways you’ve seen your teen engage with it. Acknowledging the good parts shows that you understand its importance in their lives, balancing out the cautionary advice.  
• Create an Open-Door Policy: Let them know they can come to you with anything weird or worrying they come across online, without judgment. They should feel that home is a safe space to discuss online experiences.  
• Discuss Peer Pressure: Teens might face challenges or risky invitations from friends online. Talk about how to handle these situations, emphasizing it's okay to say no or to discuss it with you if they're unsure. Many teens don’t want to discuss these situations with parents because they are worried that the parent will then take away their phone to protect or punish them. Consider addressing this worry up front to reassure your child that you want to be there for them in these though situations, and that you’ll make decisions together about how to navigate them. 
• Role-Play Scenarios: It might feel a bit awkward, but role-playing different online scenarios can prepare them for real-life situations. It helps to think through responses in a safe environment and even have some fun with it too.  
• Learn Together: Consider going through an online safety course together or attending a webinar. It shows you're in this together, learning side by side.  

Remember, the goal isn't to frighten them off the internet but to prepare them to use it wisely. It’s about nurturing smart, responsible online citizens who can enjoy the vast resources of the internet while steering clear of its pitfalls.  

Additional Resources:  

• American Academy of Pediatrics Family Media Plan – This customizable media plan can help facilitate discussion around safe and practical media use tailored to a family’s specific needs.   
• Information and Resources on Sextortion – This previous portal response provides educational information to clinicians and parents on what sextortion is and how to handle it. 
• What Do Teens Need To Know About "Sextortion" and Online Predators? – This HealthyChildren.org article discusses the risks of sextortion and online predators targeting teenagers. It explains how these scams work, the impact on mental health, and shares real-life stories to raise awareness. 
• Keeping Children Safe Online – This resource from the US Department of Justice helps parents, guardians, caregivers, and teachers to be able to take steps to protect children from becoming victims of online child predators.  
• Not a Number – Not a Number is an interactive child trafficking and exploitation prevention curriculum designed to provide youth with information and skills in a manner that inspires them to make safe choices. The curriculum is focused on empowering youth (12-18) through education on making safe choices. Youth learn to identify and use health support systems that may reduce their vulnerabilities.  
• Navigating Online Safety for Teens – This article emphasizes the dangers of online threats like sextortion, cyberbullying, and identity theft for teens and highlights the importance of parental involvement in educating teens about online safety, setting guidelines for behavior, monitoring online activity, and fostering open communication.  

Editor’s Note: We’d like to acknowledge the National Council on Mental Wellbeing’s partnership with the Center and their expert advice in helping draft this response.   

Age: 13-18 

Topics: Risky content, preventing sextortion, online risks, building trust, online safety

Role: Parent