Supporting LGBTQIA+ Children Online

Question: How can I support my LGBTQIA+ child when they are being targeted or bullied on social media?    

Answer: Data from the Trevor Project’s 2024 US National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQIA+ Young People reveals that more than one-third of LGBTQIA+ young people ages 13-17 experienced cyberbullying in the past year, and those who did reported higher rates of suicide attempts in the past year than those who did not experience bullying.  

Supporting your child when they're facing bullying on social media can feel daunting, but there are practical steps you can take to help them navigate these tough situations.   

• Ensure Their Safety: It is critical to make sure your child feels safe and supported. Let them know you're there for them, ready to listen and to help without judgment.  
• Keep the Conversation Open: Try your best to talk to them calmly and openly about what's happening. It's important that they know they're not alone and that it's not their fault. Encourage them to share their feelings and experiences with you.  
• Be Attentive to Mood or Behavior Changes: Kids can often feel ashamed or embarrassed about online interactions, particularly if they involve bullying. Since they often experience these situations alone, being extra attentive to any changes in how they act or feel can help you provide the support they need. 
• Promote Positive Online Spaces: Help your child find and engage with supportive online communities. One example is TrevorSpace which is a moderated online community for LGBTQIA+ youth. Social media can be a powerful tool for connecting with others who share similar experiences and can provide a sense of belonging and understanding.  
• Set Safety Measures: Use parental controls and privacy settings to help manage who can contact your child and what content they see, while also respecting their need for independence and privacy.  
• Talk About Online Safety: Have an open conversation with your child about privacy and social media safety. Find out what they think about what types of content are okay to post, and brainstorm ideas for staying safe. Having a conversation instead of presenting a list of rules helps your child feel respected and may make them more likely to talk with you about social media in the future.  
• Collect Evidence: If possible, keep records of bullying incidents, such as screenshots or messages. This documentation can be important if you need to involve authorities or the school.  
• Get the School Involved: Schools often have policies and resources to address cyberbullying. Informing them about what's happening can prompt supportive actions to protect your child, particularly if they offer LGBTQIA+ inclusive support  
• Encourage Involvement in Supportive Groups: Support your child in joining LGBTQIA+ clubs or support groups like a Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA) at their school or in the community. These groups can offer a sense of belonging and understanding.  
• Avoid Direct Confrontation: While it might be tempting to respond to the bully or reach out to the parents, it's often better to go through official channels like the school.  
• Report to Social Media Platforms: Use the reporting features on social media sites to flag inappropriate content and bullying behavior. These platforms have policies against harassment and can take action to remove content or users that violate these policies.  
• Consider Professional Support: Bullying can have significant emotional impacts. Counseling or therapy can provide your child with coping strategies and emotional support during tough times. Consider specifically seeking providers who offer LGBTQIA+ affirming care to address the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ youth.  
• Engage Outside Help if Needed: For bullying that's based on your child's identity, the Office of Civil Rights may be able to may be able to offer support for handling discrimination. If things escalate to threats to your child’s physical safety, consider additional supports from your school or community to ensure your child’s protection. help. They can offer guidance and support for handling discrimination.  

Although it may be challenging, it is also important to take care of yourself and find ways to manage your own emotions during these times. Staying calm, seeking your own support system, and holding space for your emotions are crucial for being an effective advocate and protector for your child. Your well-being is essential for maintaining the strength and clarity needed to support your child through these challenges.  

Remember, your support and understanding are vital. By providing a safe space at home and equipping your child with the tools they need to deal with bullying, you can help them navigate these challenges more confidently.  

If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health crisis, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8 or texting TALK to 741-741. 

For mental health support tailored to LGBTQIA+ youth, contact the Trevor Project by texting START to 678-678. 

Additional Resources:  

• How to Find Affirming Care: A Guide for LGBTQIA+ Youth and Their Parents and Caregivers – This resource by the National Council for Mental Wellbeing is helpful guide for those seeking a provider who is knowledgeable about treating and supporting LGBTQIA+ youth. 
• Teen Suicide Risk: What Parents Need to Know – This article helps parents understand suicide risk in children and teens.  
• Heads Up: Stop. Think. Connect. – Written for kids, a resource available in twelve languages to help children stand up to cyberbullying, protect their personal information, share with care, and stay safe online.  
• stopbullying.gov – StopBullying.gov provides information from various government agencies on how to respond and prevent bullying, including cyberbullying and how to promote digital wellbeing. Find free tools for parents on digital safety and monitoring online activity. Educators can find resources on ways to handle cyberbullying in schools.  
• Help LGBTQIA+ Children Socialize Safely Online – This article discusses the importance of helping LGBTQIA+ children socialize safely online.  
• Parents: Cultivate Digital Resilience! – This article by the Family Online Safety Institute shares tips on building resiliency when faced with adversity online, to help ensure that others do not to ruin one’s experience on social media. 
• The Trevor Project – The Trevor Project is a suicide prevention and crisis organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning young people. They provide free and confidential services through a 24/7 phone line, chat, and text. Also available are public education resources, advocacy initiatives, and research findings. TrevorSpace offers a moderated online social community for LGBTQIA+ young people between the ages of 13-24 years old.  

Editor’s Note: We’d like to acknowledge the National Council on Mental Wellbeing’s partnership with the Center and their expert advice in helping draft this response.

Age: 13-17 

Topics: LGBTQIA+, cyberbullying, online safety, support  

Role: Parent