Getting Your First Phone

Question: Is my mom being protective when she hasn’t gotten me a phone, even though we’ve talked about it? 

Answer: This is a really thoughtful question. Your mom has your best interests at heart. Many parents see phones as both helpful and risky, so even though it may feel like she’s being very protective, that protectiveness is because she cares about you, not because she doesn’t trust you.  

To help with your conversation with your mom, let’s look at the research. 

• Researchers asked teens about what they think is the perfect age to get their first phone, and teens agreed that there is no single perfect age to get one. These teens shared that they think being ready for your first phone means showing that you can be responsible in other areas of your life (like school and chores). They also said it can come down to whether your parents are ready to help you navigate the relationship with your phone.  
• You are not alone in not having a smartphone yet! A survey in 2025 showed that three out of four parents of children under 13 say their child does not have their own smartphone, and over 40% of parents of 11 and 12-year-olds say their child does not have a smartphone. 
• Another study in 2026 followed kids as they grew up and found that most kids get their first smartphone around age 11. But it also showed something important - kids who had a smartphone by age 12 were more likely to have health problems, including more depression, weight gain, and not getting enough sleep. It’s possible that kids who got a smartphone also downloaded social media or video games, which can lead to them using their phone for these activities instead of other healthy behaviors like sleeping, hanging out with friends, or spending time outdoors.  
• A group of teens and young adults suggested that kids should get a phone around ages 12 to 13, but only when they actually need one for independence, safety, or staying in touch without parents nearby.  

Talking with Your Parents

Your mom, like a lot of other American parents, probably doesn’t want to rush into getting you a device that can provide easy access to stressful or time-consuming content. As you keep talking to her about it, some of these recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics might be helpful to think through together for when you do get your first smartphone: 

• Use shared family controls that limit app downloads, access to the internet, contacts, content, and purchases. This way, the phone starts off with a smaller number of functions, like only talk, text, videochat, maps, and camera. 
• Getting a phone does not mean automatically getting social media. Start with texting only. If you get a smartphone, you should check in regularly with your parents about whether texting feels fun versus stressful, confusing, or full of drama. 
• Setting downtime (for example, the phone shuts off from WiFi before bedtime) and time restrictions can help you set a healthy balance with the phone and not expect to use it all the time. It’s important to be able to separate from your phone and go do other things, like focus on homework, be outside, or talk with your parents.  

We encourage you to have a discussion with your mom about the reasons why you believe you might be ready for a phone and what strategies you can use to help you have a healthy relationship with one. One way to do this is to take the AAP’s Phone Ready Quiz together! This can help you think through together the signs of being ready for a phone. When you do eventually get a phone, we encourage you and your mom to set up a Family Media Plan. This can help set intentional boundaries and habits around phones. Plus, you and your family can use it as a tool to talk about the different kinds of technology in your life. Your mom might also want to read our past portal response for parents on when to introduce a phone. 

References 

• Barzilay, R., Pimentel, S. D., Tran, K. T., Visoki, E., Pagliaccio, D., & Auerbach, R. P. (2026). Smartphone Ownership, Age of Smartphone Acquisition, and Health Outcomes in Early Adolescence. Pediatrics, 157(1), e2025072941.   
• Moreno, M. A., Kerr, B. R., Jenkins, M., Lam, E., & Malik, F. S. (2019). Perspectives on Smartphone Ownership and Use by Early Adolescents. The Journal of adolescent health: official publication of the Society for Adolescent Medicine, 64(4), 437–442.   
• Pew Research Center, October 2025, “How Parents Manage Screen Time for Kids.”  
• Richter, A., Adkins, V., & Selkie, E.. (2022). Youth Perspectives on the Recommended Age of Mobile Phone Adoption: Survey Study. JMIR Pediatrics and Parenting, 5(4), e40704.   
• Rideout, V., Peebles, A., Mann, S., & Robb, M. B. (2022). Common Sense census: Media use by tweens and teens, 2021. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense. 

Age: 6-13 

Topics: first phone, middle childhood, early adolescence 

Role: Adolescent