AAP Voices Blog

The Importance of Partnership between Parents and Pediatricians

I remember the “aha moment” when after 10 years as a neonatologist, I attended my first lecture on trauma-informed care (TIC). Even as a “nice” pediatrician who had been complimented on my bedside manner, I immediately reflected on interactions with a family that I had judged and thus failed, without this knowledge. It was shocking that the science behind psychological trauma and the outcomes on adult health hadn’t been emphasized as strongly in my years of postgraduate science, pharmacology, and pathophysiology classes. Seeing patients and families through the lens of trauma informed care changed me forever, for good, both as a pediatrician and a human.

Fast forward to 2024 and I’m humbled to be an inaugural trauma-informed care champion for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and excited for the recently launched AAP National Center for Relational Health and Trauma Informed Care. As part of my growth and development in this space, I had the opportunity to serve as faculty for the AAP Rural-health Community of Practice (COP) alongside physician colleagues, health care professionals, and parents sharing their experiences and what they wish pediatricians knew from their perspective. While we may all have medical expertise, families are experts in their lived experiences and their reality beyond the walls of the clinic or hospital. Not surprisingly, we have shared goals, and the journey is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

Through this experience, I partnered with Haley Thomas, a pediatric social worker and mother of children with complex needs navigating the complicated and sometimes broken healthcare system. Together, we co-presented on navigating difficult conversations in medicine and building trust with patients. How we partnered for our joint presentation is no different from how we partner with families in the clinic or hospital. Below, Haley highlights some trauma-informed care lessons for pediatricians and clinicians.

Haley’s Perspective: Walking in Two Worlds

I remember when I transitioned to pediatric care about five years ago. It was such an eye-opening experience to be on the other side of the connection. This time, I was a clinician assisting a family, not a parent advocating for their child. I remember thinking that both spaces are difficult whether you’re a clinician trying to help someone or a parent trying to partner with a pediatrician. Even five years later, I still don’t have all the answers, but I hope to be a voice to both sides of the relationship.

One of the most important parts of this relationship is doing your best to put yourself in the other person’s situation and asking questions to better understand.

Both pediatricians and caregivers bring a unique set of experiences and perspective to a child’s care and it’s important that both feel heard and valued.

Ask parents what barriers they have experienced, and in what ways you as the pediatrician can be supportive. If you have questions about a decision a parent has made, ask them to explain the process that led them to this decision to better understand their situation. It is important we do not make assumptions as clinicians about why a parent has made a particular decision regarding their child’s care. 

Now more than ever, parents and caregivers need to lean into trusting relationships with their pediatricians and healthcare teams. More information is available to the public than ever before, but also there is more mis-, dis-, and mal-information. In these uncertain times, families need our expertise, but it will only be effective within the context of a trusting relationship. Incorporating the principles of safety, trust, choice, collaboration, empowerment and cultural humility into every interaction with every team member will strengthen our family partnerships and benefit the health and well-being of children in our communities.

Likewise, pediatricians and health care professionals benefit from actively listening to the expertise of parents and caregivers. It’s imperative to have the trust of our patients and families to effectively care for our patients. Trauma-informed care isn’t just another task to check off the list – it is critical to providing the best evidence-based care for our patients, families, and communities. These relationships will build our resilience as we endure and improve the broken healthcare system. Together we are stronger.

When we know better, we do better. Be curious, not judgmental. We must seek to understand what has happened to someone rather than judge them. When we provide families with the opportunity to share their journey, we connect in a meaningful way and build a connection that will positively impact our patients more than we can imagine.

I encourage all of us to take the time to connect with the families of our patients and lean into their lived expertise, while working together to improve a system that needs all of us. It can be as simple as asking “how can we help” in the middle of an assessment. Together, we can be incredibly powerful. 

*The views expressed in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of the American Academy of Pediatrics.