AAP Voices Blog

The ugliness of the election and post-election period have been stressful for many of us – and it shows no signs of letting up.

A mother who came with her son to my pediatric practice after the first presidential debate told me how shocked she was by the tenor of the debate.

“I was relieved that the debate was after my kids’ bedtime. It was not what I expected. I don’t know if it would have been a good example of healthy debate for the kids,” she said as I dressed her son’s wound.

Things have only gotten worse since then.

Politics has been a particularly messy business the past few years, but the persistent bickering and heated name-calling after the election have been especially disturbing. This has caused me to think about the immense challenge that parents face in explaining to their children how our electoral process devolved into an exchange of personal attacks, refusal to accept results, and a general coarseness on cable news and social media.

“In this environment, it is vital for families to guide children in how they engage others in political discussion.”

Polarization has, unfortunately, become the norm in our political landscape. Because of this, many have chosen to avoid discussing the subject altogether. But our children are very savvy and aware of what goes on around them. Staying silent won’t help them to process this disturbing time and to learn how to disagree respectfully.

In this environment, it is vital for families to guide children in how they engage others in political discussion. It is our responsibility as pediatricians to help families model a safe and constructive learning environment for our children in which they cherish and celebrate diversity and tolerance.

The following exercises can be a good place to start:

• Teach how to be open-minded to differences: As Erik Erikson’s stages of development explains, children begin to notice the differences in the people around them at a young age. As they enter school age and adolescence, they start to point out differences in more abstract domains, such as politics, religions, and cultures and identify themselves with certain characters. During this time, it is crucial to teach them that diversity and inclusion are worth celebration. As Drs. Ashaunta Anderson and Jacqueline Douge mention in “Talking to Children About Racial Bias,” on HealthyChildren.org, one can start by acknowledging the differences and confront one’s own bias and stereotypes (for example, point out racial bias in media, such as villains or "bad guys" in movies).
• Teach that healthy and respectful disagreement is not bad or personal: Ardent disagreements and passionate debate are key components of a healthy democracy. It is important for our children to learn that disagreement precedes proactive decision-making and, therefore, is necessary. It’s when it devolves into personal attacks that it becomes unhealthy, so that should be emphasized to children and adults should model proper behavior. If children respond to disagreement emotionally and personally, parents can gently explore their feelings while asking them why the opponent might have a disagreeing viewpoint. Understanding both sides is important for growth. We can help children separate their immediate feelings from understanding the opposing viewpoint.
• Encourage participation: Democracy simply cannot exist without participation of its citizens, and it is crucial that children understand the importance of participation at an early age. Children can be involved in age-appropriate activities, such as watching current events in different news platforms under parents’ supervision, as well as going with a parent to vote on Election Day.
• Teach the history of the Constitution: We often rely on social studies teachers to instruct our children about the history and contents of the Constitution, but we can talk to our children about this vital document as well. Our Constitution, which starts with “We the People,” can serve as an important reference when our children observe how different groups of people can have different ideas and yet still achieve a goal. Some families might find it helpful to use media resources available online to learn about the Constitution together and see the ways in which the document has been amended over the years to reflect the changes in our thinking and in our nation.

As our children reach adulthood, they will make their own decisions that are important for them. This year’s presidential election has been a meaningful event that calls for educational exercises to teach our children how important it is to replace prejudice and misinformation with thoughtful debate and inclusive decision-making. It starts with us.