AAP Voices Blog

When the Phone Comes Between Us: What the New AAP Media Policy Gets Right

By the time I arrive at the next exam room in my Bronx clinic, I already know what I’m competing with.

A child sits on my exam chair; shoulders curled forward, head down, fingers flicking rhythmically across a glowing screen. I say hello. No response. I try again, Nothing—until I gently peek from the side and ask, gently, “Hey, what are you watching?” That’s when the child looks up.

For many pediatricians, this scene has become routine. Children and adolescents arrive at visits tethered to phones and tablets, absorbed long before vital signs are taken or concerns are shared.

Screens can be a convenient distraction. They can quiet a restless child while a parent gathers their thoughts or allows a clinician to speak uninterrupted.

But they also offer us something else: a window. I ask if I can hold the device for a moment and place it on the counter. I replace it with a book, a puzzle, or even just a conversation about their life. I often see a spark of curiosity flicker to life—hesitant at first, then genuine. They flip pages. They ask questions. They engage.

And then, something else happens. Their eyes drift back to the counter. Their bodies inch closer to where the phone rests. Not panic, exactly—but a pull. A restlessness, magnetic tug that’s hard to name but impossible to ignore. It’s not “withdrawal” in the clinical sense. But it is dependence. And it’s happening earlier than many of us expected.

This moment—quiet, unspectacular and deeply human—is where the American Academy of Pediatrics’ newly updated digital media policy finally meets real life.
For years, conversations about children and digital media have revolved around a single metric: How much screen time is too much? However, families and clinicians understood the truth long before science caught up to them: screen time alone was never the complete answer.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP’s) 2026 digital media policy reflects that reality. Rather than debating on minutes and hours, the updated guidance centers on our children and focuses on how, why, and under what conditions children should engage with digital media — especially social media. It introduces two powerful framing concepts that mark a meaningful shift in pediatric guidance: the socio-ecological model and child-centered design.

The policy keeps our children’s temperament, developmental stage, vulnerabilities, and strengths central. Around them sit multiple layers of influence such as caregiver’s routines, school expectations, neighborhood safety, and peer norms. Beyond that lies cultural forces, public policy, and the technology industry itself. It acknowledges that media use is shaped by relationships, environments, culture, and corporate design choices that often prioritize engagement over well-being. A child’s media use does not occur in a vacuum. In other words, when a child struggles to put down a phone in an exam room, that struggle does not belong to the child alone.

In my clinic, this reframed conversation changes everything. It takes away from a parent’s shame and guilt while shifting toward a shared responsibility model. Children notice everything. They learn media habits the same way they learn language, emotion regulation and relationships - by watching the adults around them. Asking parents how they use their phones at home allows them to quietly reflect and understand the true meaning of parental modeling.

Social media platforms' designs are not neutral tools. They are intentional systems built to profit on captured attention and maximize engagement. The AAP’s efforts to call on media companies for child-centered design is the need of the hour. When platforms interfere with sleep, fuel social comparison, or amplify harmful content, the burden should not fall entirely on families or rely solely on individual willpower.

For many families, the pediatrician’s office remains one of the few trusted spaces to talk honestly about digital life. The new AAP policy provides clinicians with concrete resources and tools to help families navigate their child’s virtual reality. Resources from the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health help us translate research into conversations families can actually follow without guilt or self-blame.

One of the key takeaways for families to use as their starting point is the Cs of Media Use:

• Is this content appropriate for this child, at this age, in this moment?
• Is media helping a child calm—or preventing them from learning how?
• What is being crowded out: sleep, play, family time, boredom?
• Are families talking openly about what kids see and feel online?
• Co-decision making with families to experiment with small changes, such as turning off nonessential notifications, creating phone-free routines around meals/bedtime or planning specific times to check social media rather than letting it fill every quiet moment. 

Perhaps the most radical idea in the new AAP policy is this: attention is worth protecting.

The goal is not abstinence. It is agency.

Back in the exam room, when the visit ends, I hand the phone back. The child takes it—but sometimes more slowly than before. Occasionally, they keep the book too.

That pause matters. Moments of waiting, boredom, and curiosity still have value. Because the future of our children’s digital lives will not be decided in sweeping bans or viral debates. It will be shaped by ordinary moments: in clinics, kitchens, classrooms, and conversations where adults choose to model the habits they hope to see.

The phone may still come between us—but it doesn’t have to stay there.

*The views expressed in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of the American Academy of Pediatrics.